


Hiraeth

by tinyko



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I'll add tags as needed, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, Xenophilia, and bd didnt deserve to die, bc star deserved a redeption arc tbh, i will take a hammer and fix the canon, im basically just making tfp better, im much gayer for starscream, im still so fucked up about breakdowns death, its gay, so i changed my mind, sorry folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-01-21 15:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyko/pseuds/tinyko
Summary: Hiraeth : a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.Leo just thought this was going to be an uneventful year in the sleepy town of Jasper, just until he graduates and can finally go on with his life. Welp, nope, it's Jasper, Nevada.Update: 4/2 I decided to make it a Starscream x Self Insert because I have a lot of love for Star and I just wanna be friends with BD and KO





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! I'm here finally with a TFP story. I've always been in love with transformers, but I finally got hella into it last summer, and it's helped me out so much. It's pretty safe to say that this is my Major Special Interest. I'm kinda surprised I haven't written for this yet, but if you've been keeping an eye on my work, you know the drill. I'm a slut for self inserts.
> 
> This chapter is mostly just world making and setting up how my self insert got into this whole situation in the first place.

Sun blares down on the sandy desert, heatwaves ripple across the empty, narrow road cutting through the dull scenery. A lone pickup races down the road, the windows down and the bed full of boxes. An arm hangs out the driver’s side window, patting the door in rhythm to the music playing through the speakers. The small male in the cab bobs his head to the beat.

A voice pings from his phone discarded on the seat next to him, alerting him that his destination is on the right in a mile. He spots the mail box next to the gate and turns down a dusty, gravel road. A worn fence runs along both sides of the single lane path, grass popping up sparingly in the endless fields on both sides. As a small house with a barn to the side comes into view, he feels a small pop of anxiety eat at his stomach. He starts to nibble his lip as he pulls up to the house.

It’s three storey tall, though small and old, with faded blue and white paint and some of the flower boxes look a little worn. The porch wraps around the house and the ground alongside the porch is covered in well maintained flowers and plants. A couple of desert trees circle the small area between the house and the barn. The barn looks old as well, but has a relatively fresh coat of red paint.

The young man parks his truck next to another old truck, though this one is much younger and much more rusted. Turning off the engine, he grabs his phone and hops out. An older woman appears on the porch, leaning on the railing and waving at him.

“Leo! Oh, it’s so good to see you got here safely, it was quite a drive! Have you called your mother?”

Leo laughs a little and walks up the couple of steps to the woman to give her a hug, “I just got here, I’ll call her in a second. It’s great to see you, Aunt Rosie.”

He pulls away to go back down and grab a bag from his truck’s bed. Aunt Rosie waddles over to help him out by pulling a box out of the bed. Rosie is a short, plump woman with a friendly face. Her eyes crinkle when she smiles and she has two very obvious dimples. She always has her long, dark hair braided down her back and always wears bright, flowery clothes.

“How is your mother doing? I haven’t heard from her in a while.”

“We’re both doing well,” Leo says as he walks up the steps to the house again and through the open door, “She was really excited to move to Pennsylvania. Her house is the cutest.”

“I still can’t believe she let you drive all the way up here to Nevada,” Rosie jokes, directing Leo up the stairs to the attic, “She was always so overprotective of you.”

Leo laughs, turning to go up the second flight of rickety stairs, “It was either this or to live with Rich for the next year and have him know where I’ll be going to college. Thank you again for taking me in.”

“Of course, you and your mother are like family to me and would have done just the same for me. Anyway, the whole attic is yours! It’s not too big, but it has a bed and a wardrobe and some other furniture. Feel free to make it your own as much as you want!”

“Thank you so much Aunt Rosie, this is amazing!”

The room is bare, with only an empty bed pushed to one corner with a small nightstand, a wardrobe and dresser on the other side and a desk on the far wall. The slanting roof is perfect for fairy lights and plants, and the window has a small sitting spot Leo can fill with pillows.

Rosie plops the box in her arms down next to the stairs and smiles, “We can bring up some more when my boys get home. In the meantime, feel free to explore the farm, or maybe even check out Jasper, it’s a nifty little town.”

Sending a smile back, Leo nods, “Maybe I will later, once it cools off a little.”

Rosie laughs loudly, a nice, comforting sound, like a grandmother, “Honey, it doesn’t cool off here. You’re in the middle of the desert.”

With that, the older woman makes her way back down the stairs, leaving the small male on his own in his new space. He lets out a small sigh and looks back at his newest project. His hand finds his phone in his pocket. But first…

 

“Hey Mummy!”

“Leo? You got there safely?”

“Yep, all safe and sound with no incidents at all. I didn’t get pulled over and I didn’t have any bad drivers along the way. It was pretty smooth sailing once I got off the major highway.”

“I’m so glad to hear that. How’s Rosie and her little farm?”

“It’s… good? I’m not sure how a farm really works in the desert because it’s… the desert. I haven’t met the animals yet. How are my cats?”

“They’re loud and a little roughed up from you not being here, especially your girl.”

“Oh, I miss her so much, give her lots of love for me.”

“I will. Now I need to go, and I’m sure you’ve got lots to get ready for. You start school later this month, remember?”

“I know, thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, keep me updated.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Blue light blinds him, engulfs him. He tries to call out, but no sound comes out. His cheeks are wet, why? Why is he crying? What is he calling out to? Why is he reaching out? There’s no noise, just a ringing. The light goes away and he’s in a forest. A dark, empty, dead forest. Why is there a forest in the desert? He goes to move but his foot hits something. Looking down, he opens his mouth to scream, but no noise escapes. It’s a head. A large, metal, dead robot head._

Leo jumps awake when his alarm blares loudly. His back is cold with sweat and his chest aches. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He really needs to get his dreamcatcher cleansed.

He reaches to grab his phone off the nightstand and turns off his alarm. After scrolling through some social media to wake up, he rolls out of bed and stumbles down the stairs to the bathroom to get ready for school. The first day of school. Looking into the mirror, he tries to recall why he woke up in a cold sweat, but the dream is gone. He ruffles his bi-coloured hair and rubs his face. It’s not going to help anything worrying about it. He taps his cheeks and starts to get ready.

 

The smell of fresh toast and eggs hits Leo as he makes it to the ground floor. He follows it to the kitchen where Rosie hums an upbeat sound as she cooks breakfast. A plate toast sits next to a glass of water and his medications. Rosie turns and smiles when she sees Leo.

“Good morning! You ready for this?”

Leo laughs a little bitterly, “Not really, but it should be much easier in a town with 2000 people than a school with nearly twice that. Thanks for breakfast, Aunt Rosie.”

“I wish you the best of luck!”

Leo nods with a small smile as he takes his antidepressant and shoves a piece of overly buttered toast into his mouth, nearly choking when he sees the time.

“Shit, fuck, I gotta get going right now, I really should have left earlier. Thanks for breakfast!” Leo exclaims as he gathers his backpack and rushes out the door.

Rosie shakes her head and rolls her eyes, “That boy has his mother’s sailor vocabulary.”

 

The parking lot is unsurprisingly small, but very empty. Leo guesses that many kids don’t drive themselves. They must walk, or get dropped off by their parents on their way to work. Finding a space a bit off from the school, _just to be safe_ , Leo parks and takes a deep breath before stepping out and walking towards the school building.

Jasper High is much like any American high school on the inside, just on a much, much smaller scale. Looking around just inside the front entrance to try to find the office, because they’re _always_ somewhere off where you can’t find them, Leo all of a sudden gets jolted forward by an abrupt force behind him, sending his keys spilling out of his hand.

With a sigh, he leans down to pick them up and turns towards the source, a tired look on his face. A girl a bit taller than him stands behind him, an apology ready on her tongue, but stops dead when he turns around, a look of shock appearing across her face. Leo’s shocked, and tries to get the look off his face, thinking that he, a 4’10 boy lost already in a school that’s not even a quarter of the size of his old one, somehow managed to scare her.

Instead she seems to light up, “Yo! Is that real? Your nose? Your ear? Your hair? Do you like metal? You look like you’d like metal! I’m Miko!”

Blinking, completely taken aback by this girl, Leo stumbles over his words, “Uh… this?” He points to the small star piercing in his nose, and when she nods enthusiastically, “Yeah, it is, they all are and my hair too…” He rubs what’s showing of his blond and black hair from under his beanie.

“Uh, I do listen to some, but I pretty much just listen to everything… I’m Leonardo, it’s nice to meet you Miko.”

“I knew it!” She says a little loudly and bounces, “You’re new here, huh? Well we punks gotta stick together!”

Leo laughs some, rubbing his arm, “Yeah, ok, sounds good! Hey, could you guide to the main office? I need to pick up my schedule from them.”

Miko loops her arm around Leo’s and starts to drag him in a direction, “Yep! Follow me!”

For some reason, in the pit of his stomach, Leo feels like this is going to be a really long year. He shakes his head and puts on a smile. At least he has a friend now. Even if he really isn’t that much of a ‘punk’.

 

After he got his schedule, (“You’re a senior? That’s so cool! I’m just a freshman.”) and he finds his first period, he settles down. This school only has one lunch, so he made plans with Miko to meet up after fourth period to go to lunch together. He’s a little sad that this small town school doesn’t have that many cool classes, but he’s still in contact with people that could hit him up with whatever cool classes they’re taking back in his huge old school.

Looking down at his schedule on the little half sheet of paper in his hand, he scans through the rest of the classes and the teacher’s names, remembering them for when he has to send an email out to tell them his name and that he’s a trans guy. He sighs and slides down in his seat. He couldn’t find his first period teacher to tell them before the bell rang.

Just as the announcements start, the teacher walks in. An old man. A very, _very_ old man. As he introduces himself as their english teacher and tells a little about himself, (he’s from Mississippi, has a wife, two kids in college and is very strict) Leo feels himself shrink, a sick feeling developing in his stomach. He immediately wants the bell to ring as soon as possible.

The rest of his half of the day went by swiftly, most of the classes just doing get-to-know-you activities, and he meets up with Miko to head to lunch, the girl going on about some metal band Leo has honestly never heard of. She does keep the conversation up without much help, so he doesn’t mind just listening.

The other half goes by just as swiftly at the first, and soon Leo finds himself sitting next to the stairs of the school as Miko draws a motorcycle that’s parked out in front of the school. Leo, still with the mentality of being in a huge metropolis, decided to hang out with Miko until someone came to pick her up. He scrolls aimlessly through his phone when all of a sudden Miko grabs his arm and yanks him around the side of the school.

She stops in front of an alley and stares in awe, Leo peeking around the corner after her, his eyes immediately widening in surprise.

“Dude! What are you waiting for? Go with!”

When the two in the alley way - a young man around Leo’s age and a large blue robot - hear Miko, they both turn their attention towards the girl, and Leo. They both mutter a cuss under their breath. The other guy looks scared, like he’s been caught doing something majorly illegal, while the giant robot just looks resigned. The robot transforms into the motorcycle Miko was drawing back at the school, and tells everyone to get on.

“Uh, that’s a motorcycle. I may have failed maths, but there are three of us and only barely enough room for two people, I don’t think that adds up,” Leo points out, lifting his fingers to emphasise the numbers as he speaks. Miko, however, looks absolutely thrilled at the idea.

“You humans are highly adaptable, you can make it work,” the motorcycle says.

“Arcee, he has a point,” the young man says and Leo can’t help but feel a swell of pure joy, “Why not have ‘Bee take him with Raf.”

“I have a truck, I can just drive it. I don’t really want to leave her at the school anyway,” Leo points with his thumb in the direction of the school.

“Fine, I’ll stay behind you and you follow a yellow car. Don’t drive off. Optimus Prime wants to see all of you.”

He nods meekly, and the duo (trio?) on the motorcycle, follow him to his truck and once he’s out of the parking lot, he sees a yellow Camaro idling on the side of the road. Must be the one he needs to follow.

They drive out far, in the opposite direction than the farm Leo is staying on, to the point where there’s nothing but desert and tall plateaus. The road splits into a T about a couple hundred metres ahead of them, yet the yellow Camaro shows no sign of stopping. ‘This is how I die’, is the first thought through Leo’s head as he grips the steering wheel tightly. Then the rock in front of the yellow car splits into a tunnel. ‘This is something with the government’, is the second thought that goes through his head.

As he drives into the highly suspicious, obviously government base, Leo is in utter awe as he gazes up at another giant robot, this one orange and white and larger than the blue one. Leo parks off to the side, and climbs out, his eyes wide.

“I thought there was just two,” the orange and white robot groans.

“Humans multiply quickly, didn’t you know?” Arcee says, already transformed back and walking towards the other.

The Camaro also transforms and starts to beep and whirl, using his hands to emphasise whatever point he was making. The small boy that had came with him laughs a little. A large green robot comes into the hangar, followed by a much, much larger red and blue robot. Something about this one radiates authority and ‘leader’.

“Hello. My name is Optimus Prime,” the red and blue robot starts, kneeling down towards the group of kids, “I am the leader of the Autobots. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron. This is our medic, Ratchet-” Optimus gestures towards the orange and white robot who makes a dismissive sound and waves his hand over his shoulder- “Our scout, Bumblebee-” the yellow Camaro buzzes happily and waves- “And Bulkhead.” The large green robot. Miko immediately starts to shoot off questions at him, the poor robot looking lost, “And you have already met Arcee.”

“I’m Jack,” the other young man says.

“I’m Leonardo, it’s uh, nice to meet you,” Leo shuffles his feet a little and tilts his head towards Miko, who was still interrogating Bulkhead, “That's Miko.”

“And I’m Rafael,” The smallest boy steps forward, “So if you guys are aliens, how did you end up on Earth?”

Optimus stands back up, “Our home planet was destroyed by a catastrophic war and we were forced to evacuate. We have been hiding here for the past three Earth years, tracking Decepticon activity.”

“Decepticon?” Leo asks.

“Our enemy. They are the ones who started the war nearly six million years ago. They will likely have their sights on you, very few humans know of our existence. I will assign you guardians to protect you and keep an eye on you.”

Optimus turns to address the other robots, “Bumblebee, your charge is Rafael, Bulkhead, yours is Miko and Arcee, you will guard Jack. Ratchet, you will have to be Leonardo's guardian.”

The medic sputters and goes to plead to Optimus but Leo gets there first, “Like, they'll have to drive us around and such?”

Optimus nods, “Yes.”

“Well, I already have a truck and I'm almost an adult. I've only got like three months.”

“You would be at risk if you do not have a guardian,” Optimus explains calmly.

“My truck is very important to me, I'm not just going to ditch her. I built her from the frame up and had to deal with a lot of legal issues to just get her, I'm going to let all those damn hours in court hearings go to waste,” Leo crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Optimus hums in thought, “I am against it, but I will allow you for now. Ratchet is needed at the base for Groundbridges and to monitor for Energon readings. However if anything were to happen, you are to have Ratchet accompany you home.”

Ratchet seems overwhelmingly relieved at that, but still makes a comment, “Do we really need more humans at the base? If they get underfoot, they'll go… squish.”

Optimus turns towards the medic, “Then we will just have to watch where we step, old friend.”


	2. The Night Whizzes By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakdown and Knockout appear 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! So just for reference, the piercings the self insert has are  
> 1- side nose piercing (left side)  
> 2- 1st lobe piercing (both)  
> 3- 2nd lobe piercing (both)  
> 4- 3rd lobe piercing (both)  
> 5- helix piercing (right)  
> 6- industrial (right)

This particular afternoon, Bulkhead had just returned from a mission after Miko called him asking where he was. He sits in the makeshift medical section, letting Ratchet fix some wounds.

“I don’t know where he went, Breakdown was just gone once I came to,” Bulk explains, hissing at Ratchet when he hits a particularly sensitive spot.

“Well, where could he have gone?” Miko asks.

“I think I might know.”

Leo turns to see the agent in charge of them, and more or less, their adult supervision, Agent Fowler.

“It’s probably M.E.C.H.- there’s been activity of them logged there. And they seem _very_ interested in how you guys work.”

“Well then, what’s the big deal? He’s a Decepticon,” Bulkhead grumbles.

“He is still a Cybertronian,” Optimus notes to the others.

Leo could feel in his gut that Optimus wouldn’t take this sitting down. He feels relieved for some reason.

“But Breakdown is a Decepticon, and we’re not exactly on the best of terms,” Arcee argues.

“Yeah, what do you think he’ll do, Boss? Switch sides?” Bulkhead stands up, looking ready to fight.

Bumblebee agrees with the others and lets out several loud beeps and throwing his hands around. 

“However unlikely,” Optimus turns to fully face everyone, “Even he could have a change in heart.”

After sending them all off, Bulkhead being the only remaining Autobot, he plops down and starts to grumble to himself. Miko huffs and stomps over to him and gives him some choice words. Leo doesn’t pay much attention until she starts to encourage him to go. He sighs.

“Don’t worry about the kids,” Leo pipes in, earning an annoyed noise from Jack, “I’m basically an adult, so we’ll be okay for a while until you get back.”

Miko interjects, “Hey! I am not a baby! I don't need you to babysit me!”

Bulkhead considers it for a brief moment, before standing and turning on the Groundbridge. Miko hoots and waves him off and then it’s just the four of them.

“So…” Raf shuffles, “Up for a race while they’re gone?”

 

It’s not a long time before they return, Bulkhead again looking a little worse for wear. Miko cheers and jumps towards him, forcing Bulk to reach out and make sure she doesn’t fall. Leo laughs a little and goes over to sit with Ratchet, watching him work.

They don’t speak. That’s just how their relationship has worked for the past several weeks; just resting in each other’s presence and while he would never admit it, Leo can tell that Ratchet appreciates his more sedate demeanour he has compared to some of the others.

“Hey, Leo! You ready for tonight’s movie night? It’s my turn to have brought movies,” Leo can feel a chill go down his spine at Miko’s words.

He shoots a shaky smile in her direction and then softly cusses beneath his breath, making Ratchet cough into his hand. Leo definitely heard him bite back a laugh though.

 

Once they were all set up in makeshift beds across the floor, and Bulkhead and ‘Bee settled down behind them, the gory slasher films were started. Leo waits until Miko was well engrossed in the film before sneaking over to Ratchet, opting out of the horror films that make him gag, and deciding instead to spend some time with his own guardian.

Ratchet looks up when Leo moves closer, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and moves his servo up so the small male can climb on to sit on Ratchet’s work space. It’s the same routine whenever it’s Miko’s turn to pick the movie for their Friday night movie nights, as well as whenever Leo finds himself unable to sleep when he’s at the base.

A sudden beep makes Leo start, a small yelp escaping him. He looks up to the medic, a question ready on his lips. He stops when he sees a look of confusion on Ratchet’s face.  
Ratchet’s optics narrow, then quickly widen, “By the Allspark.”

He turns quickly, making his way quickly towards the hall off to the side where the ‘Bots’ sleeping quarters are. Leo watches, standing up and trying to see if he can tell what just happened on the screen. Bulkhead and Bumblebee look confused too and make their way over.

Ratchet returns with Optimus, ranting about receiving a message on a completely different frequency.

“It’s neither, Optimus, but I managed to isolate a section and, well…”

The medic pulls up the wavelength, Leo watching intently, trying to figure it all out. He never was that great with this sort of stuff and everything is so foreign, he’s completely lost within seconds.

“Ratchet, decode the rest of that frequency. Quickly. It could be an Autobot in distress,” Optimus instructs.

“Right.”

The other kids have stopped their movie, hearing the commotion, as well as Arcee joining up with everyone. They all watch as Ratchet makes the message out.

_“We wish to join your cause. Please meet us at these coordinates. Be unarmed.”_

Leo blinks and bites his lip, vaguely recognising the voice. Ratchet looks to Optimus, his optics wide.

Bulkhead's optics narrow, “This has to be a trap. Breakdown and Knockout wouldn’t just ditch.”

“Maybe they had a change in heart. I will go, and Bumblebee will join me. Ratchet, prepare a Groundbridge to the location. Leonardo, drive the others home and Arcee, escort them to Jasper. We will notify you when it is safe for you to return. Autobots, roll out!”

Leo nods, trembling softly as he gathers up his blanket and hurries back to the platform of the hangar that he and the others hang out on, ushering the others up and down the stairs to his parked truck. Miko and Raf pile in after Leo squished up next to each other across the bench seat. As Leo and Arcee start to pull away, the Groundbridge lights up, and Optimus and ‘Bee walk through.

The drive is silent, no one quite knows what to say. The night scenery whizzes pass and the lights of Jasper appear on the horizon. Miko reaches towards the aux cord, pulling out her phone with her other hand. Leo shoots her a look.

“Miko, you know the rules of my truck. Only I have aux cord privileges.”

Miko pouts, slouching back into the seat. With a sigh, Leo wiggles his phone out of his back pocket, passing it to Raf without looking away from the road, “Play the 8bit playlist, I'm not in the mood for anything heavy right now.”

If only Leo had looked at Raf, he would have seen the mischievous look he got. Unfortunately it's too late, and Raf starts to play a Roblox Death Sound Remix of the theme to the X Files.

Leo sighs, slumping down, but a smile forms on his face, “Remind me that no one is allowed to ever fucking play anything in my truck again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll probably skip through some stuff so we can get to the Good Gay stuff.


	3. 'Cute'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumblebee finally comes to meet up with the humans to give them the a-okay to return to the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for it being quite a hot minute, I was at a con over the weekend and then the grading period finished yesterday for my school so a lot of assignments where pumped out last minute over the past couple of days. LMAO back to the gay.

Days turn to weeks. Leo has begun to worry - none of the Autobots have given much information on when they can return, and Leo often has to drive one or more of his new friends home after school. They’re all currently hanging out at Rosie’s farm, lazily slouched on the porch. Raf is perched on the swing bench, tapping away at his laptop, Jack and Leo are sitting on the steps, Jack playing a game on his phone while Leo rests his head on his hands, and Miko stretches out out on the porch lazily.

Down the path that leads up to the small farm house, dust raises up, as if someone was driving up the road. Leo thinks it’s odd, for a brief moment - Rosie is out of town for a couple more days. Then it’s close enough to hear, and Raf perks up.

“It’s ‘Bee.”

Leo tilts his head towards Raf, “How can you tell?”

Raf closes his laptop and hops off the bench, “I just know. He just… sounds different than the other cars.”

Just as Raf makes it to the bottom step, a bright yellow camaro pulls in front of the house, opens its passenger door and beeps loudly and happily. The young boy turns to the others, smiling widely.

“He says we got the a-okay to come back to the base!”

 

Jack, Miko and Leo all pile into Leo’s truck and follow Bumblebee down the familiar road to the Autobot base. Miko beats her hands on the dashboard of Leo’s truck, earning herself a glare from him.

“Miko, be careful with her. Pulmo is a classic, a vintage. She’s probably older than your mum,” Leo sighs.

Jack bites back a laugh, “You _named_ your truck?”

Leo huffs defensively, “Of course I did! I fucking built her! Besides, we’re friends with sentient cars from outer space, is it really so weird?”

Unable to make a comeback, Jack slides back in the seat. Leo turns his full attention back to the road, watching the desert scenery fly by. This time, the drive seems so much longer than it used to be- Leo even thinks that he got further in his playlist than he used to when driving to the base. Finally, the large rock appears in the distance. Miko starts to bounce in her seat, Jack sits up straighter and Leo starts to shake his left leg.

As they drive in, Leo parking in his usual spot off to the side, he notices there’s none of the other Autobots in the hangar. Even Ratchet isn’t at his usual space in his corner. ‘Bee doesn’t seem to mind, and beeps at them enthusiastically while waving the kids over to the section of the second floor platform they used to hang out on.

Leo starts towards the edge of the platform, Miko quickly overtaking him as she jumps to hang on the rails. They all hover near the railing , passing glances to each other as Bumblebee heads down one of the hallways. Silence falls over the hangar and Miko quickly breaks it, her excitement radiating off of her in waves.

“It’s about time they let us come back! I missed getting Bulkhead to drive me offroading!”

Leo laughs a little, “Yeah I missed sneaking over here during my study hall to fuck around for a bit.”

Jack whips his head over to the older man, “ _That’s_ where you went? I thought you had a pass to another teacher.”

“I do, I told her I’m not going to swing by on certain days of the week and the security here is nothing like it was back at my old school.”

“Wicked!” Miko cheers, going in for a high five.

“Miko,” Leo sighs, regretting ever bringing it up “If you skip, at least have some sort of plan, and only skip classes like study hall. Be responsible with your skips.”

“Hey guys,” Raf pipes up, “I think they’re coming back.”

Optimus is in the lead, Ratchet and Arcee behind him. All of the the Autobots file into the hangar. Once they’re all out, the kids’ eyes widen and they grow silent and stiff. There’s two more Cybertronians than there used to be.

“It is nice to see you all again. It has been too long. We wanted to be positive that no harm would come to you. They have proven themselves multiple times that they are serious about joining our cause and I have deemed it safe enough for you all to meet formally. Knockout, Breakdown, these are our human friends.”

Jack is silent, Raf starts to creep behind Leo and Miko is uncharacteristically quiet. Leo takes a breath and steps forward, slapping a big, cheery smile on his face.

“Hello! I’m Leonardo, just Leo is fine. It’s nice to meet you,” he says once he gets to the railing.

This spurs Miko back and she points dramatically at Breakdown, “You threw a pillar at me when we first met!”

Breakdown turns his face away, rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah… Sorry about that.”

Knockout snickers a little, covering his mouth with his hand and shifting his body away just slightly. Miko grumbles something about not trusting them and crosses her arms over her chest. Raf stays hidden behind Jack. 

Optimus steps forward, “I know this is a drastic change. It will take some getting accustomed to. For now, I request for you to not be alone with our new recruits just yet. You may, however, return to the base after school like you used to.”

Leo nods, though he’s the only one who moves. It takes a moment, then Arcee and Bulk move forward, happy to be with their charges and soon Leo is the only human left in the base. He starts to head over to Ratchet, but stops when his phone makes a small noise from his back pocket.

Pulling it out, he groans, “Shit, I forgot I have an economics test tomorrow. Sorry Ratchet, I really got to study, I’m barely passing the class.”

Ratchet makes a noise of discontent and waves his hand over his shoulder. Leo turns and hops down the stairs quickly, heading towards his pickup.

“What’s that?”

Leo looks up, spotting Breakdown and Knockout gazing at his little truck.

“What? Pulmo? She’s just my truck. I have my driver's license so I don’t really need rides around like the kids.”

Breakdown blinks, then gets a look of pure confusion on his face plate, “Is she not going to transform?”

Knockout turns away, his shoulders shaking a little and a bit of muffled laughter can be heard. It takes Leo a short moment, then he bursts out laughing, “No, no, no! She’s just an earth truck, I built her forever ago from the frame up and she just means a lot to me. Since she means so much, I named her after a… videogame character. And since my guardian is Ratchet, it just makes everything easier for me to drive to and from school.”

The ex-Decepticon nods slowly, seeming to still not quite understanding the whole “can’t transform but still has a name” thing. Leo can’t help a small laugh that bubbles up from his chest. ‘It’s cute,’ he thinks, then cuts the thought off immediately, almost ashamed at the fact that he just called a former enemy ‘cute’.

Shaking his head, he pulls open the driver’s side door and hops in his truck’s cab. He really needs to study for that economics test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!


	4. Ditching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo ditches study hall and goes where he used to always go without thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO sorry it's been so long, I don't have an excuse other than depression and school.
> 
> I also decided to change this to a Starscream based story because I love Star so much and I really wish he hadn't opened his dumb mouth during that episode were the Autobot had him, I really think he'd do great being away from Megatron since Megatron is so abusive in TFP.
> 
> I'm going to be talking a lot about abuse once Star makes an appearance, so take warning. I'll add more warnings when it pops up, but it's also only mentioned and past stuff and dealing with the trauma and the aftermath.
> 
> BD and KO are staying as well, they're having their own thing and I just wanna be friends with BD.

By the time the bell rings, signalling the end of the class period, Leo already has a plan in mind. Go to study hall, sign out, then get the hell out of here. ‘I can make it through the next ten minutes. I just needs to get to study hall.’ He thinks to himself as he weaves in and out of students. As he enters the large classroom, he doesn’t even look in Jack’s direction. He can’t deal with questions right now. He signs out, forcing a smile at the study hall teacher before turning and promptly heading down the hall.

Getting out of the school is much easier than it was before he moved. The door near the performing arts centre isn’t monitored and very, _very_ easily opened. Leo found this out by accident when someone bumped into him hard and the force sent him into the door, which promptly swung open and he was dumped onto the ground outside.

Pushing the door open, Leo beelines towards Pulmo, the mint standing out vividly in the barren parking lot. He climbs into the cab, starts the engine and he’s already halfway to his destination when he remembers that he can’t go there. ‘Well, it’s not that I can’t, OP would probably just be disappointed in me,’ he thinks.

The rock formation looms on the horizon and Leo decides that there’s no point in turning back now. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Parking in his corner, Leo lets out a sigh, slumping down against the truck’s seat. The tense feeling in his shoulders finally starts to ease and he rubs a hand across his face and through his hair. After a good minute, and not hearing any ‘bot, Leo climbs out of the cab and starts to make his way up the stairs to the couch.

He plops down on the couch, groaning softly, stretching, then curling up facing the back of the couch. ‘Maybe if I’m quiet enough,’ he thinks, closing his eyes, ‘None of the ‘bots will even notice me and OP won’t give me his disappointed dad look.’

That hope is quickly extinguished when the booming steps of a ‘bot echos through the main hangar.

“Fuck.”

Leo doesn’t check who it is, assuming it’s just Ratchet, or one of the guardians going to pick up the others to take home. It’s not until the mystery ‘bot hums when they must see Pulmo. The young man peeks over the couch only to see Breakdown - one of the very Cybertronians he’s not supposed to be alone with.

Oh well.

“Hey Breakdown,” Leo says, waving, before he can even think about why that might be a bad idea.

The ex-decepticon jumps a little and turns with one wide optic to see Leo leaning over the couch.

“Uh, hey,” Breakdown says with an awkward wave of his own, “I.. thought that the humans weren’t supposed to be here unsupervised? And the ‘bots haven’t left to get the other humans.”

Leo sticks his tongue out and slumps back down, disappearing from Breakdown’s view, “Yeah well, I had a rough day. I always come here when I need to just calm down. I also ditched school early.”

Breakdown moves closer slowly cautiously almost. Leo pushes a strained smile on his face.

“Don’t rat me out to OP?”

“OP?”

Breakdown can hear a small laugh from behind the couch. “Optimus Prime. He told us when he first introduced us to you and Knockout that we’re not allowed to be alone with you guys. I guess because you were a Decepticon and tried to kill Miko immediately after seeing her in Greece. I think that if you guys were deemed safe enough for OP to introduce you to us, then you’re safe enough to hang out with.”

The ex-decepticon doesn’t know what to say. Leo peeks back over the couch, expecting some sort of response, “So don’t tell him you saw me here?”

Breakdown nods. Leo smiles then slides back down, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and starting to flick through his music.

“So, why did you leave early?” Breakdown asks, in genuine curiosity. He tries to appear casual, leaning some of his weight to one hip and crossing his arms loosely.

Tapping on a random album and turning the sound up, Leo slouches further into the couch, “I got a little stressed. A lot stressed. I almost had a panic attack so I just decided that it’d be best to ditch and get out of there before I suffocated.”

Breakdown tenses at that and his expression shifts from curiosity to worry - his ‘eyebrows’ moving to knit together and he raises his hands up, “Wouldn’t that kill a human? I don’t think Optimus Prime would be too happy about that.”

Another smile makes its way to Leo’s face, “It was just an expression. I meant that it feels gross when I get panicky. It feels like my throat closes up and my chest tightens and it’s hard to breath, kind of like suffocating.”

That seems to settle Breakdown a little and Leo’s smile softens, “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to all these weird human sayings soon enough.”

Silence falls between them and Leo relaxes for a nap, resting his phone on his stomach as it plays soft music. The sound of shifting metal catches his attention and cranes his neck to see that Breakdown had sat down, closer to the kids’ rest area, turned his optic towards Leo.

“I’ve never seen a human up close that didn’t want to cut me open.”

Leo laughs a little, settling back down into a position where he can easily see Breakdown.

“I haven’t seen a ‘con up close that didn’t want to squish me,” he shoots back, a playful smile tugging at his lips, “Well, ex-decepticon.”

Breakdown grins at Leo and the pair again lapse into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thabks for reading!!!!!


	5. Life Threatening Situation #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seld insert finds himself in a bit of a pickle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader gave me some good inspiration and I got carried away while I was home sick.

It was supposed to be a normal day.

It was supposed to be a ‘get up, go to school, hang with giant alien sentient robots, to home, go to bed’ kind of day. It was _definitely not_ supposed to be a ‘let’s get shot at by other giant alien sentient robots because _someone_ doesn’t have any sense of self-preservation’ kind of day. And yet, here Leo is, hiding behind a conveniently placed boulder, grasping onto Miko’s arm to make sure she doesn’t run off _directly_ into the line of fire. _Again_.

“I swear to _fucking_ God, Miko,” Leo yells over the sound of the lasers hitting the boulder, feeling his voice strain, “If you fucking do this shit again, I _will_ murder you.”

Miko doesn’t respond. Leo isn’t even sure if she heard him over the deafening sound of being shot at. He does have a soft voice and hardly ever raises it. He wants to cry, torn between feeling absolute fear for his life and pure rage towards the young girl.

‘I’m going to die,’ he thinks, ‘I’m going to be killed by fucking robots a _week_ , a fucking _week_ , before my eighteenth birthday.

’

The fire-fight moves away from the boulder suddenly and Leo thinks he hears a ground-bridge open. But it’s still too loud to hear himself breathe and he thinks he might have just hallucinated it. With one hand still clasp tightly around Miko’s arm, Leo scuffles to the side of their hiding place.

Lo and behold, Optimus Prime himself has appeared, guns blazing. A flash of red cuts off his line of sight and Leo takes a moment to refocus. Knockout skids to a stop next to the boulder and swings his door open harshly.

“Well? I’m not risking my finish just for you to stare at it. Get in.”

Leo doesn’t hesitate. Miko does, but Leo’s grip is tight out of fear and she gets yanked through the open door. Leo scrambles over the middle console much to the protest of the ex-decepticon, as he slams the door shut and accelerates, wheels skidding in the dirt for a second.

Leo watches the Autobots fight, twisted around in the driver’s seat. Both Optimus and Bulkhead are here too, shooting while running towards the red sports car. He turns back around, lets out a breath and sinks into the seat.

“You both owe me a wash.” Knockout grumbles through the radio.

Leo laughs weakly and pats the steering wheel, “Of course, I’ll throw in a wax and polish too. Thank you for saving us, KO.”

The swirling green of a ground-bridge appears in front of them and all three vehicles disappear into it.<>

On the other side, Leo climbs out of Knockout and follows Miko up the stairs, a speech ready on his tongue. Bulkhead transforms and looks ready to do the same.

“Miko,” Leo says, gently but with enough assertiveness to get the younger girl to stop on the top of the stairs. She doesn’t turn.

“Hey, look at me,” Miko turns slightly, “I’m mad, yes, but I’m mostly scared, okay? Come on, let’s sit and talk this out,” Leo moves past her, squeezing around so as to not touch her.

He sits on one side of the couch and pats the other. Bulkhead is behind him, looming, but also very obviously not trying to look threatening. Miko sighs and drags her feet over to the couch and plops down, crossing her arms and pouting a little.

“Look. You need to start to think through your actions more. At the very least when it’s something like this. I’m sorry for grabbing you and yanking you around, I was scared. Scared that I would have to drag your dead body back to the base.”

“Miko, you don’t understand how scared it makes us when you’re not accounted for at the base. We don’t want to have to babysit you, and I know you want to see action, but this is not a safe way for you to get out there. We can work something out if you prove yourself to be trustworthy, okay?”

Miko huffs but doesn’t answer. Leo stands, rubs his face and looks to Bulkhead, “I’ll let you continue, I need to head home to work on some homework.”

Bulkhead nods and moves so he can see Miko better. The young man heads to the base of the stairs when he hears soft talking down the hall that leads out of the base. They’re obviously trying to stay quiet, but Leo can tell one is Breakdown. Curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself at the base of the stairs heading to the edge of the wall.

“Look, Knockout, I know you want to prove yourself to them, trust me, I do too, but you need to be more careful.”

“Come on Breakdown, that little rescue mission was nothing. I’ve dealt with plenty of bullet wounds worse than this. You’ll just have to buff around there gentler.”

A sigh.

“Just, please be more careful, okay? You said you would last time. And the time before that too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.”

Leo’s heart suddenly aches and he presses himself up against the wall as the two walk out of the hall and pass him. The thought of this conversation being a common occurrence hurts him so deeply. He knows that Knockout was often volunteering for as many missions as he could, no matter the danger-level. Is that why? To prove that he’s serious? To have Optimus and the others trust him more?

Rubbing at his face, Leo shoves his hand into his pocket to fish out his keys and his heart drops to his stomach. He turns in a full circle, patting down all the pockets in his jeans and jacket.

“Motherfucker!” He yells, running his fingers through his hair.

He takes a deep, shaky breath and makes his way to the stairs. Bulkhead must have talked with Miko and made up, as she was bounding down the stairs, chanting about going to see a monster truck show. Leo forces a smile.

He searches the entire section of the hangar that had been taken over by him and the kids, but no sign of his keys.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit fuck.”

He flops onto the couch and buries his face into his hands. He takes some deep breaths, trying to clear his head. Where could he have left them? The base? No he already checked that. Perhaps behind that rock… but he can’t check that right now… Knockout. He jumps up suddenly and rushed to the railing near Ratchet’s corner. Knockout sits on the medical bench, getting checked over by the older medic.

“Knockout, did I leave my keys in your seat?”

The ex-decepticon rolls his optics, “No, I would have felt it.”

“Fuck,” Leo sighs, his chest feeling tight and he sinks to the floor, “I must have dropped them while we were being shot at, oh fuck.”

Breakdown nervously wrings his hands, “I can, uh, take you home if you need it?”

Leo opens his mouth to agree, but Optimus interrupts, coming from one of the hallways, “I do not think that is a wise idea. I do not trust you alone with any of the humans yet. Ratchet will take Leonardo home.”

Knockout’s shoulders droop a little and Breakdown tenses, looking off to the side. Their earlier conversation replays in Leo’s head and he steps in.

“Uh, OP? Ratchet’s taking care of Knockout, he’s a bit busy with that and ‘Bee and Arcee are busy scouting that energon signal you guys got earlier. I’m fine with Breakdown taking me home. I’m anxious about leaving my keys back wherever we were, but it was the middle of nowhere, no one’s going to pick them up in the next couple of hours. The decepticons aren’t going to hang around know that they know we know they have a mine there. I’ll have Breakdown or Ratchet to drive me over here before school and I can pop over there, grab my keys and drive Pulmo to school.”

Optimus pauses, either not expecting that answer or taking his time to gather his words, “While you do have a good argument, I do not think it is a smart idea to leave you alone with Breakdown just yet.”

Leo goes to say, _“But we have been around each other alone quite a few times,”_ but stops. He doesn’t know if that would get the two in trouble or help them at this point. Instead he finds himself saying, “Well how will you know if you never try?”

He immediately wants to fight himself.

“Ratchet will take you home. He will bring you here tomorrow morning to retrieve your keys.” Optimus says in a voice that says ‘this conversation is over’. Or at least that’s how it sounds to Leo, because he instantly feels like vomiting.

With a shudder, he nods and turns his gaze down. Optimus lets out a small breath.

“Perhaps another day, but we have had too much excitement in the past hour. I do not think it would be in anyone’s best interest to invite more.”

He turns and leaves down a different hallway.

“I’m sorry,” Leo feels obligated to apologise to the ex-decepticons.

Both look surprised, Knockout’s optics widening and Breakdown fully stumbling a little. Ratchet doesn’t say anything about it, but pats Knockout on the shoulder.

“You’re good to go. I’ll be back soon. Let me know if anything bothers you and I’ll take another look,” The older medic sounds exhausted.

Leo smiles at the two of them and walks to the top of the stairs, taking a deep breath before walking down them to pull his school bag out of Pulmo, give her a loving pat, and turning to wait for Ratchet to transform.

He pulls up next to him, and opens his driver’s side door for him. Leo climbs in and shuts the door for him, shoving his backpack across the bench seat. As he pulls out his phone, Ratchet starts down the hall heading out of the hangar.

“Can I play some music?”

Ratchet scoffs, “No. I don’t want to listen to that awful screeching Miko always plays in the base.”

Leo laughs a little, “No, no, it’s not music like that. It’s an old singer. I think you’d like his music to be honest. It’s old country music from the 50s all the way until he died in 2003. I’m pretty sure most of the bands Miko listens to probably weren’t even together yet.”

The medic grumbles some more, but agrees. Leo smiles, and picks his favourite Johnny Cash song.

“My mum and I always listened to him. His music reminds me of you a lot.”

“I have to admit,” Ratchet huffs, “It is pretty nice.”

Leo leans back, a small smile on his lips. At least he accomplished something today.


	6. Life Threatening Situation #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream finally makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah im back on my shit, both me and my beta reader are out of school so we are Free

Two days. Two _fucking_ days. That’s how long it’s been since Leo has been without a life threatening situation. And this time he’s completely alone. Trapped under rocks and slowly losing breathable air. God, he wants to cry, but that would only waste what little oxygen there is in his little section of the cave-in.

He falls onto his ass and pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to slow his breathing. He thinks back to all shit that went wrong. All he wanted to do was see a cool cave, then Miko ran off _again_ and endangered everyone else _again_.

He thinks back to what he saw before the collapse. Him, Jack and Arcee had stumbled into a cavern - a cavern Megatron and Starscream were in. Megatron had his fusion cannon pointed directly at Starscream as the smaller of the two begged for his life. If they hadn’t been noticed he… would have been killed by Megatron. Something about that hurts Leo’s chest. Something about that whole thing was off. Something felt familiar.

Some rocks moved, jolting Leo out of his reverie. Tears well up in his eyes and start to drip down his cheeks before he can even stop himself.

“Hello? Arcee? Bulk? Please tell me someone’s there,” his voice cracks. 

More rocks move with more force in reply. Leo can’t keep a sob from escaping his throat. He bites his lip and tries to control his breathing. With more rocks falling in, more oxygen will get pushed out. Or maybe more will come in? ‘If I ever get out of here, I’m never sleeping through another science class, I swear to fuck..’

Suddenly five long, metallic fingers push through a hole between the rocks., catching on the sleeve of Leo’s shirt. The young man is too shocked at the talon-like fingers to move. His arm stings. A bright red optic peers through the hole.

“Ah, one of the Autobots’ pets,” says a familiar, reedy voice.

“Starscream…” Leo stutters, his voice soft. ‘I’m going to die today. Not by suffocation but by a giant robot skewering me with his fingers.’

Those long, dangerous digits twist and wrap around his torso and he feels too weak to even try to fight back. Though he does throw in a light punch to one of the fingers, just so he can say he tried.

The lack of oxygen must have really fucked him up because the first thing he thinks when Leo is pulled out is, ‘Fuck me, he’s attractive.’

“Hey- hey, he’s gonn- he’s gonna kill you,” Leo slurs out, not even thinking through his words anymore.

“ _What_?” Starscream sounds like that was the last thing he expected to hear from a human.

He can’t help but think the same thing. What is he doing? Why is he starting just now to be a little delirious? Because he’s facing what will likely be the last thing he sees? He just wishes his arm would stop hurting. ‘My arm?’ He sloppily tilts his head to the side, doing his best to look at his arm while high off his ass.. The ripped part of his sleeve that Starscream caught when he reached in is definitely not supposed to be that colour. Or stick to his skin like that. Or be spreading.

“Oh fuck, I’m bleeding,” Leo says dully.

“What?” Starscream screeches, and it grates against Leo’s ears. He furrows his eyebrows at Starscream.

“You’re being too loud…” and he holds up a finger towards Starscream’s mouth, shushing him. Starscream looks like he becomes a mixture of confusion with a touch of annoyance. Though Leo can’t really tell, robots are hard to read completely, especially when you’re bleeding out. 

Leo laughs a little. What a way to go. By a giant robot after being stuck in a tiny cave-in and slowly losing oxygen for who knows how long (he conveniently left his phone at the base in his school bag). At least he had Pulmo’s keys back.

He’s fully crying now. Now that he’s in a bigger space, he doesn’t fear suffocation as much as he did before. Big, gross tears roll down his cheeks and sobs wrack his chest. Breathing becomes a little hard, but he doesn’t notice too much. He half expects to fall, to just be dropped, and is shocked when he feels the ground against his feet. Wiping some tears away with his clean sleeve, he sniffles and looks up.

Starscream looks at a loss. He looks half panicked and thoroughly confused by the situation. Distressed? Leo can’t think right at the moment. He feels light-headed. He sways a little and plops down on the ground, tears still streaming down his face. He bites his lip and counts to ten, trying to calm his breathing. Everything feels like it’s moving. He hiccups.

“Th-thanks,” Leo stutters out through the after effects oxygen deprivation and and bawling his eyes out.

That seems to throw Starscream off. His eyebrows knit and his voice raises an octave, “You’re _thanking_ me?”

Leo rubs his head, as if that’ll make everything make sense again, “I would have suffocated? You look pretty. I’m not doing great.”

At the other end of this section of the cave-in, rocks start to move. The sound startles Starscream, Leo is too out of it to even notice. A bit of a decepticon drill pokes out. Leo finally notices.

“Oh, friends,” Leo says.

Starscream bolts in the opposite direction, down a narrow section of what used to be a mine shaft. Leo watches, his vision blurring.

“Leo!”

Hands are on his arms and he hisses in both pain and fear. Jack face comes into his line of sight, worry painted over his features.

“Leo? It’s okay, you’re okay. Shit, you’re bleeding, you’re bleeding bad.”

There’s a ripping sound and then pressure on his wounded arm. Jack wraps Leo’s good arm around his shoulders and heaves him up. Together, they stumble to the drill and Jack pushes Leo onto the side of the drill, near where he was standing to control it.

“Hang on, Leo, okay? I’ve already found Arcee, she’s comming Optimus and the others. They’ll be here soon.” Jack’s voice is laced with worry.

The drill lurches to a start, and the two move rather quickly through the larger portions of the collapsed mine. Leo doesn’t feel much better, he’s still light-headed, he’s still bleeding, he’s still hiccuping from his earlier sob-fest. With how everything is right at this moment, he kind of wishes that Starscream had killed him. Being skewered or dropped from 20 feet probably would have felt better than this.

They hit a wall and Jack says something loudly and there’s a god-awful sound and it’s loud and it’s too much. Leo rolls his head to the side watching the opposite wall start to tumble down. A blur of deep blue is all he sees before he passes out.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing he hears when he comes to is a horrid, incessant beeping. Leo groans and blinks his eyes open. He grumbles at the brightness and closes them again.

“Turn off that fucking beeping.” Damn his voice is gravelly and dry as hell.

He feels multiple people rush the bed, all calling his name. With more grumbling and groaning he opens his eyes to see Miko, Raf and Jack all crowded around him. An arm starts to push them away.

“Hey, give him some room to breathe,” June Darby pushes all of the kids away then turns to the young man, “Hey kid, how do you feel?”

“Like shit,” he rasps.

June laughs a little, grabbing a cup of water and helping Leo to sit up far enough to drink some, “Well, I’m not surprised. Your oxygen levels were in way too low and you had one heck of a laceration across your bicep. You don’t have any broken or fractured bones, but you do have stitches in your arm. Nine of them.”

Leo flops back down onto the bed, “Fuckin’ wonderful.”

He looks around and sees Ratchet hovering above him, trying to mask his concern with clinical interest. He sends the medic a smile, attempting to reassure him. Leo being conscious and relatively pain-free seems to relax Ratchet a little and he moves back to the Cybertronian-sized medical bed. Someone big and dark blue is on it.

“Breakdown?” Leo feels panic raise in his throat and he pushes himself up, ignoring the pain in his arm.

The ex-wrecker waves a hand weakly, “Glad to see you up too, Leo,” his voice sounds weak and strained.

“What happened?” Leo stutters.

Jack steps in, “After the mine collapsed, we were all separated. Miko and Bulkhead, me, Arcee. It was a mess. I found a drill, then found Arcee, who went back to the surface, then you. Breakdown found us a little bit afterward and you passed out. But I was drilling when he came into where we were and it caused another cave-in and he got caught up in it and got hurt pretty bad. He had me go find Bulkhead and Miko while he got himself out, which I did. And I found Starscream with them.” Leo’s stomach drops at Starscream’s name. “We managed to get out and Bulkhead came out after us, taking Breakdown with him.”

Leo nods biting his lip as he remembers his delirious ass talking with the decepticon.

Knockout suddenly makes his presence known, striding up to Breakdown’s slab, glaring down at him with crossed arms.

“You told _me_ to be careful and look at what _you_ go and do!” Knockout spits.

Leo blinks, because one- Knockout doesn’t seem like the type to beat a friend while they’re down and two- he knows exactly what Knockout is talking about. Everyone quiets down and most ‘bots and the kids shuffle out of the room to give them some privacy. Only June, Leo, Ratchet and Optimus remain.

“I’m still standing, KO. It was just some rocks,” Breakdown laughs a little, seeming to try and lighten the mood.

Knockout pulls away, his fingers digging into the metal of the medical berth. Leo can tell from where he’s at that he’s scared, angry and hurt. Optimus gently pulls Ratchet away and down a hall. Leo silently hopes for them to stay within earshot.

“You can’t prove you want to change if you’re offline, Breakdown!”

The sentence stings Leo, and he’s not even the one it’s directed at. He bites his lip to keep from crying.

“It takes more than some rocks to offline me, I’m tougher than that.”

“What happens next time, when it’s more than just ‘some rocks’? This flippancy for your wellbeing isn’t fragging appreciated.” Knockout’s voice stays level, but drips with venom.

Suddenly, the two stop as Optimus appears again and puts his servo on Knockout’s shoulder. The red medic turns swiftly, almost as if he’s ready to fight.

“That is enough, Knockout. Get some rest. Everyone is tired, and none of us want you saying anything you might regret.. I wish to speak with both of you in the morning.”

Optimus nods to both of the ex-cons, then to the humans before leaving the med bay. June places a gentle hand on Leo’s uninjured shoulder, bringing his attention to her.

“Leo, you should call your parents- tell them you’re at a friends house or something. I know it’s a tall ask for you to tell the truth with you kids,” she says, ruffling his hair.

“Oh. Oh fuck, do you need to be paid? This is your job, right? Fuck, Rosie’s going to be worried sick. Oh man-“

June laughs gently, and interrupts Leo, “Don’t worry about money. You’re a friend of Jack’s, and I’m not going to let someone bleed out if I can help it.”

“Oh God, thank you so much,” Leo relaxes, “I do need to call Rosie, she’s a friend of my mum’s. I’m staying with her until I graduate.”

“Of course, where’s your phone?”

“Should be in my bag. Thank you, June.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She picks up on the first ring. “Leo? Oh dear Lord, is that you?”

“Hi Aunt Rosie, it’s me.”

Rosie breathes out, “Oh thank the Lord, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just lost track of time. I’m going to crash at Jack’s place tonight. He’ll let me borrow some clothes for tomorrow so you don’t need to worry!” Leo hopes all the tiny white lies that got him through high school help make it sound somewhat convincing.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, you weren’t home when you normally where.”

“I’m sorry, I just got caught up in studying and video games. I’ll see you after school tomorrow?” Leo rubs the back of his head out of habit.

“Alright. Don’t give him too much grief, okay?”

“I won’t. Thank you. Good night.”

“Good night dear.”

Leo ends the call with relief. Now he just needs to come up with some explanation for his arm and he’s set. He rests back and closes his eyes, trying to relax after everything that’s happened in the past 24 hours. Before he knows it, he’s falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnks for reading!! i have the next chapter written it just needs to be edited


	7. Close Your Eyes and Try to Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of calm after the storm and before the hurricane. Also a look into Leo's basic school day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that summary ended up being really poetic i really just didnt know what to write
> 
> misgendering warning btw

Everything was blinding, blue light, and it felt familiar.There’s no noise. His cheeks are dry, but his chest feels tight. Then the light fades and now he’s in a ravine. There’s tall cliffs and the rocks are red. There’s the sound of metal on rock and some speaking. Then it’s metal screeching against metal and shouting. He can only make out one sentence, repeating over and over;‘You killed Cliffjumper.’

Leo jolts awake, cold and sweaty with pain shooting up his left arm. It takes him a minute to realise he’s on the couch in the Autobots’ hangar. And he has nine stitches in his arm. And he slept through his alarm. Fuck.

He stumbles up, throwing the blanket off, only for it to wrap around his ankles and he crashes to the ground, a stream of curses leaving his mouth. He taps his bandages softly, feeling if he reopened his wound. It’s not wet, yet.

He gathers himself and clatters down the stairs, yanking open Pulmo’s door and shoving his keys in the ignition. A large orange and white pede blocks his view. Leo sticks his head out the door, glaring up at Ratchet.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Ratchet crosses his arms over his chassis and stands like a dad about to lecture his son.

“School.”

“No.”

“No?” Leo steps fully out of the truck, his eyebrows shooting upwards. “Look, Doc, I’m late to school. The first bell is at 7:30. It’s 7 right now. School is really important and I’m in my last year so it’s twice as important.”

“With an arm like that? You’re going to pop your stitches within the first hour!” Rachet exclaims, looking irate at the thought.

Ah, so he’s just concerned. If Leo wasn’t as late as he is, he would be touched. Now he’s just slightly less annoyed. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Please Ratchet. What do you think I do at school? Half the time I’m asleep, and the rest of the time, I’m sitting mindlessly at a desk. Little to no physical stress. Plus, I’ll call if anything happens and leave right away,” Leo sighed, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.  
Ratchet huffs and then slumps, giving in, “Oh, alright, fine. But the moment you start bleeding again, leave.”

“Thanks, Doc!” Leo swings back into the cab of his truck and starts her up.

“Quit calling me that!”

 

Leo parks Pulmo in his usual spot and quickly throws his bag over his good shoulder, leaving off his injured arm. Looking down, he groans. Of course he’s still in his dirty, bloody shirt. Shrugging his backpack off, he digs out the sweater he keeps in his truck and pulls it on, buttoning two buttons likely in the wrong holes, pulls his bag back on and heads into the school.

He gets to his first period just as the announcements come to a close. His old, gross English teacher sends him a dirty look as Leo plops into his seat. He can’t count him tardy if he got there before the announcements end (which they technically hadn’t, they were just about to).

“Miss Thompson, why are you late?”

Leo ignores the pang that sentence causes in his chest, “I wasn’t, I came in before the announcements finished.”

“Don’t sass me, young lady,” the dusty old man says as he stands and heads to the front of the class, which has grown silent.

Leo grits his teeth and forces himself to nod his head and bite out a ‘yes,sir’. Gods, he hates this guy.. He pulls out his spiral and begs that his class will finish quickly.

 

Eventually, lunchtime rolls around and Jack catches Leo by his good arm as soon as he walks into the cafeteria. Jack drags a protesting Leo into the bathroom, startling him.Jack checks the bathroom, then digs into his bag, pulling out a clean shirt and handing it to the other boy.  
Leo tilts his head, “What?”

“I know that you’re still wearing the same shirt from yesterday. I don’t see you until now, so, here, change.” Jack shakes the shirt in his hand towards Leo.

Cautiously, Leo takes the shirt and trades it for his backpack. He unbuttons his sweater (just now noticing the uneven buttoning he did earlier) as he heads into one of the stalls.

“So how’s your arm doing?” Jack calls from the other side of the stall.

Leo makes a noise in the back of his throat, “Eh, you know. Hurts like a bitch.”

There’s a sound against the wall of the stall. Jack must have leant against it.

“How’d it happen?”

A strangled noise escapes Leo as he tugs off his old shirt. Probably not going to get that day-old blood out. A shame, cause he liked that shirt. “A rock caught me on the way out.”

He stops, caught off guard by his own answer. Why did he lie? Why was that the first thing out of his mouth? He hadn’t even rehearsed it, and he has no reason to lie about that?

He shakes his head, but Jack seems to accept that answer. Leo carefully pulls on Jack’s shirt. It’s plain black, long sleeved and a size or two too big, but Leo is a small guy. He slides his sweater around his waist and ties it, stepping out of the stall.

“Thanks for the shirt, man, I’ll give it back after I wash it. Probably.” Leo gives Jack a smirk. Jack just rolls his eyes and gives Leo back his bag. The smaller shoves the ruined shirt into his bag as they head to the lunchroom.

Miko waves at them as they both take their usual seats at the table. She already has her lunch out – she never buys school lunch. Jack always buys school lunch. Leo goes to pull out his own lunch, then he remembers that he spent the night at the base and groans, dropping his head to the table.

“I didn’t make lunch because I was at the hangar,” Leo whines.

Miko laughs, and pokes his head, “Well, you’re a dummy.”

Leo swats at her hand and whines again. He closes his eyes as Jack and Miko start to bicker back and forth. Sometimes, when it’s like this, he can imagine that everything is normal. That he’s just a normal high school senior and not friends with beings of an alien race who brought their war to his home planet. That he’s with his mum in Pennsylvania with his two cats not in a small desert town, living in the attic of a family friend’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to add a bit of human/human conflict, so this binch will show up from time to time

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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